"I was too consumed in self-pity to care about what anyone cared about me" - Depression saw Mark Cavendish hit rock bottom with doctors fearing suicide new documentary reveals

In the new Netflix documentary, 'Mark Cavendish: Never Enough' the legendary British sprinter looks reflects on some of the darkest times in his life that saw him battling depression, with his doctors even fearing for the life of the 'Manx Missile'.

"You don't go from being the best in the world to really not even capable of anything. How? How has it happened? It turned into stress at home. I was a nightmare to live with," Cavendish admits in the documentary, reflecting on his form drop-off prior to his 2021 resurgence. Was I going f*cking crazy? What the f*ck was wrong with me? I didn't have anything, didn't want anything, didn't do anything, didn't feel anything."

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Cavendish had spiralled so far that his doctors at one point even feared that the 34-time Tour de France stage winner would take his own life. "You're just f*cking empty, you know. The sense of worthlessness. I'd lost any get-up that I'd ever had. Just to be a person, to be a dad, to be friend, a husband," Cavendish recalls. "I was too consumed in self-pity to care about what anyone cared about me."

"I think there's a high risk that you harm yourself or even that you commit suicide," Dr David Spindler was forced to tell Cavendish in a wake-up for the sprinter. "Mark and I made a deal. Before you do something to yourself, call me. I rode a scooter beside him every day for ten days. And I refused to speak until he spoke to me first. We’d talk about some eating issues in the past and some pressures to perform. He found that his joy wasn’t in racing his bike. His joy was just cycling. And that his bike was a sense of freedom."

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Thankfully, Cavendish refound his happiness and his love for the sport, making a career resurgence in 2021 and completing his way back to Tour de France stage winning form. "Cav’s happy place has always been on his bike, by himself," Dr Spindler concludes.

The 'Mark Cavendish: Never Enough' is out on Netflix on August 2.

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