Jan Ullrich spoke to his compatriot Toni Kroos on the Real Madrid player's podcast 'Einfach mal Luppen'. To mark the release of his new documentary on Amazon Prime, the cyclist reviewed his career and the terrible moments he has experienced
In statements collected by Marca, the former winner of the 1997 Tour de France and great rival of Lance Armstrong commented on his depression as follows: "I was depressed. I had to stop what I was doing. I had to get back to a normal life. I thought I was completely defeated, but I told myself I couldn't go on like this. I have four children. They motivated me, because I had completely given up on myself. Without my children, I probably wouldn't be here today."
Doping had done him a lot of harm. The German told Kroos that everything was seen differently in his time and that he therefore did not feel guilty about what he did.
"Doping is frowned upon nowadays. Everyone knows what it is, but it wasn't like that back then. Today I feel guilty, but back then it couldn't be controlled. It was on the list of banned substances, but it couldn't be controlled. Back then it wasn't a crime [for me], it was an equalizer of opportunities. You didn't feel guilty because you knew the people you were fighting were taking it too, a lot of them. You didn't think you were doing wrong."
However, the consequences of his actions were devastating and he had a really bad time, he tells: "Suddenly you lose everything. I lost everything I had built up over decades, friends, family, contacts... Everyone goes on with their lives when you've fallen, and that hurts a lot."
"You ask yourself why you're like that when you've done nothing differently to many others. Suddenly they drop you and you have to get up on your own. You no longer talk to friends, but to lawyers. You're lost and can no longer protect yourself."
Article written by Juan Larra.