Track World Champion Jan-Willem van Schip retires from road cycling following persistent mental problems
Track Cycling
Jan-Willem van Schip recently went public about his mental problems and now that the door has been opened, he opens his heart further in conversation with Trouw. 29-year-old Van Schip, world champion in the Madison in Glasgow last summer, honestly admits that he sometimes finds life worthless.
Depression, fortunately no longer a taboo in 2023. But Van Schip still finds it intense to say that he sometimes thought about the end of his life. "Do you know how far it went? 'If I get a good run-up here and jump a long way, that should be enough to be done with it completely. With everything.' I didn't want to be there anymore. This is who I am. It is 2023, I have been working on this full-time for two and a half years. I appreciate being able to say that sometimes life just isn't so fun anymore. Many aspects just suck."
A world title in Glasgow was nice, but Van Schip can also put it into perspective. In fact, things have been going wrong since 2019 for the cheerful Dutchman, for whom the corona period was difficult. He got into trouble with himself and things went from bad to worse. The combination of road and track did not help. "Combining both disciplines is intensive. Too intensive, I now know. I've always found it f*cking difficult that I didn't get a longer contract anywhere, except Roompot. I cycled fast enough."
"Road cycling is not safe," he says, referring to the constant urge for performance because contracts are so scarce. Van Schip felt that it didn't help, that he is always so open and honest. "You just see who I am. With my full soul and bliss. The only disadvantage is that being vulnerable and close to yourself causes trouble to others. If I am honest and radiate that, there are people who see it differently and then they suddenly have a problem with me."
A search for himself followed, through therapy and EMDR. He retired from road cycling and so we only see him again on the track. "Do I still like road cycling? Good question, I don't really know. I can now be happy without the road. That feels like my best victory, more than the world title. It's nice that I have that, but I like it even more that I can be who I am. And that after all these years I'm doing well again."
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