"If it wasn't for my loved ones, I wouldn't be here": The terrible consequences that doping in cycling can leave behind

Doping has been a persistent shadow in cycling for decades, with media cases marking milestones in the history of the sport, although nowadays the scandals have diminished. However, cyclists continue to be caught using banned substances on occasion, and sanctions, usually suspensions, are imposed as the established punishment.

However, what is rarely discussed is the psychological and emotional impact these sanctions have on athletes. The consequences of a suspension are not always just sporting; in many cases, they are devastating on a personal level.

One of the most heartbreaking testimonies in the cycling world is that of Marion Sicot, a French cyclist who was caught in 2019 using EPO, a banned performance-enhancing substance.

Her suspension was the formal punishment, but the emotional fallout was far more severe. Sicot, once a promising figure in the peloton, not only suffered the loss of her career, but was also caught in a spiral of personal anguish.

In an interview with L'Équipe, the 33-year-old athlete revealed details of her suffering. "I was locked in my bubble, cycling was my life," she confessed. "I wanted to be at the level of the best. I thought others were doing it, so I decided to try too." But Sicot's doping case was not an isolated episode.

During the same period, she was dealing with a serious case of abuse by her former sports manager, Belgian Marc Bracke, who, according to the allegations, forced her to send him photos of herself in her underwear under the pretext of controlling her weight. The tragedy continued when Bracke, after being suspended for life over the scandal, took his own life in 2022.

Sicot's account reveals not only the devastating effects of his doping suspension, but also the complexity of the psychological trauma she experienced. "It was as if a bomb had dropped on me. I had to deal with it all alone. I only existed as Marion the cyclist. From one day to the next, I was nothing. I couldn't imagine life without cycling. If it hadn't been for my loved ones, I wouldn't be here," she confessed.

Marion Sicot is just one of the examples of how doping not only affects athletes' physical performance, but also their mental health. In a recent investigation published in L'Équipe, several French athletes share their experiences with the aftermath of a doping suspension.

Paul Pogba, the Monaco player who also suffered a doping ban this year, recounted how he lost his identity when he was suspended: "When you get suspended, everything is taken away from you, even your role. Honestly, it was like I was no longer a footballer."

And this is a recurring theme: the return of a suspended athlete is almost always an impossible task to accomplish without leaving deep scars. Despite having served their punishment, many athletes face the harsh reality that opportunities will never be the same again. Public perception, earned respect, and reputation are quickly diluted.

For Sicot, the return to the peloton never came. The cyclist admits there were times when she thought she could not go on living after her suspension. "One day, an athlete suspended for doping will commit suicide, as almost happened to me," she said, reflecting a sad and painful truth that still remains hidden in the public debate about doping.

Sicot's testimony, along with other cases, highlights the urgent need for sports authorities to take into account the psychological and emotional side effects of doping. This is not just an anti-doping rule violation, but a problem that affects the mental health of athletes in a profound way.

Mattia Piffaretti, a sports psychologist, stresses that doping should be considered not only as a physical issue, but as a comprehensive mental health issue. "The risk of suicide is considerable," warns Piffaretti, who advocates a more humane and sympathetic approach in the treatment of suspended athletes.