"If it wasn't for my loved ones, I wouldn't be here": The terrible consequences that doping in cycling can leave behind
Cycling
Doping has been a persistent shadow in cycling for decades, with media cases marking milestones in the history of the sport, although nowadays the scandals have diminished. However, cyclists continue to be caught using banned substances on occasion, and sanctions, usually suspensions, are imposed as the established punishment.
However, what is rarely discussed is the psychological and emotional impact these sanctions have on athletes. The consequences of a suspension are not always just sporting; in many cases, they are devastating on a personal level.
One of the most heartbreaking testimonies in the cycling world is that of Marion Sicot, a French cyclist who was caught in 2019 using EPO, a banned performance-enhancing substance.
Her suspension was the formal punishment, but the emotional fallout was far more severe. Sicot, once a promising figure in the peloton, not only suffered the loss of her career, but was also caught in a spiral of personal anguish.
In an interview with L'Équipe, the 33-year-old athlete revealed details of her suffering. "I was locked in my bubble, cycling was my life," she confessed. "I wanted to be at the level of the best. I thought others were doing it, so I decided to try too." But Sicot's doping case was not an isolated episode.
During the same period, she was dealing with a serious case of abuse by her former sports manager, Belgian Marc Bracke, who, according to the allegations, forced her to send him photos of herself in her underwear under the pretext of controlling her weight. The tragedy continued when Bracke, after being suspended for life over the scandal, took his own life in 2022.
The worrying case of Marion Sicot
Sicot's account reveals not only the devastating effects of his doping suspension, but also the complexity of the psychological trauma she experienced. "It was as if a bomb had dropped on me. I had to deal with it all alone. I only existed as Marion the cyclist. From one day to the next, I was nothing. I couldn't imagine life without cycling. If it hadn't been for my loved ones, I wouldn't be here," she confessed.
The impact of sanctions: A path of loneliness and despair
Marion Sicot is just one of the examples of how doping not only affects athletes' physical performance, but also their mental health. In a recent investigation published in L'Équipe, several French athletes share their experiences with the aftermath of a doping suspension.
Paul Pogba, the Monaco player who also suffered a doping ban this year, recounted how he lost his identity when he was suspended: "When you get suspended, everything is taken away from you, even your role. Honestly, it was like I was no longer a footballer."
And this is a recurring theme: the return of a suspended athlete is almost always an impossible task to accomplish without leaving deep scars. Despite having served their punishment, many athletes face the harsh reality that opportunities will never be the same again. Public perception, earned respect, and reputation are quickly diluted.
For Sicot, the return to the peloton never came. The cyclist admits there were times when she thought she could not go on living after her suspension. "One day, an athlete suspended for doping will commit suicide, as almost happened to me," she said, reflecting a sad and painful truth that still remains hidden in the public debate about doping.
Sicot's testimony, along with other cases, highlights the urgent need for sports authorities to take into account the psychological and emotional side effects of doping. This is not just an anti-doping rule violation, but a problem that affects the mental health of athletes in a profound way.
Mattia Piffaretti, a sports psychologist, stresses that doping should be considered not only as a physical issue, but as a comprehensive mental health issue. "The risk of suicide is considerable," warns Piffaretti, who advocates a more humane and sympathetic approach in the treatment of suspended athletes.
Read also
Ondrej ZhasilCycling Journalist
Ondřej Zhasil is a cycling journalist at CyclingUpToDate and has been part of the team since 2023. He is based in Ostrava, the third-largest city in the Czech Republic, and covers professional cycling across the main UCI competitions, including the Tour de France, the Giro d’Italia, and La Vuelta a España. A key focus of his work is startlist analysis and pre-race coverage, where he examines team selections, rider line-ups, and tactical scenarios ahead of major events.
Alongside WorldTour coverage, Ondřej has developed specific expertise in junior cycling and in racing across East Asia, including competitions in China and Japan. He also maintains a broad working knowledge of other disciplines and levels, including cyclocross, while continuing to expand his understanding of mountain bike racing.
Ondřej holds a bachelor’s degree in Mathematics and Physics, which supports his analytical, data-driven approach to performance and race analysis. In his reporting, he regularly uses ProCyclingStats for results, statistics, and historical context. He places strong emphasis on careful sourcing, editorial accuracy, and updating articles promptly when new, verified information becomes available.
claps 2visitors 2
Just in
Popular news
Latest comments
- I get the point totally. We live in the snowflake society where some riders forget they are getting paid to ride and get results. When they have a few issues they try to look outside of the real issue instead of themselves. It odd so many of the team are making no complaints and getting on with their job. If you do not like what you do find another job simples. Tough love as my mum would say.paultryan200207-11-2026
- many people advise him to grow slowly and rather do giro and/or vuelta instead of tdf. but i can totally understand that he is not satisfied with taking over once pogi declines, but instead beat him in his prime. so if he goes for tdf again, i‘m all for it. let‘s hope that pogi recovers soon!Ketterechts07-11-2026
- So gracious to offer something no-one would be prepared to pay for. The Giro is not the Tour and doesn’t command the same interest or attract the same “elite” (those willing to pay to be a part of something they consider has ego boosting potential). Roadside viewing will always largely remain free for everyone outside circuits. Introduction of a symbolic entrance to mountain climbs is worthy of exploration. Asking 1-2€ isn’t going to repulse real fans (most will spend 50-100€ on their outing that day all things included) but will prevent a portion of the total knobhead thrillseekers who will join in any large gathering as long as it’s free, just because they’re attracted to crowds, without which it it difficult for them to work up their anti-social behaviour.Jumpyjohn07-11-2026
- How is radio going to help when someone went over a cliff or bridge or off the roadside into a forest unnoticed and is laying there unconscious?Jumpyjohn07-11-2026
- Yep, next we’ll be accusing F1 drivers of avoiding Le Mans.Jumpyjohn07-11-2026
- But on what is that opinion based? Are you holding him to a different standard than others? Are you saying he should do learn to like something he doesn’t Are you saying he hasn’t achieved enough Are you saying he pretends to be better than his results? It’s actually a really strange opinion to oust if you consider it objectively or rationally. Try applying it to others or yourself by asking if not EVERYONE should then be doing more? Nobody in athletics or swimming gets criticism for not expanding their repertoire when a rival or someone else does. In fact, most who move to another event get accused of running from their rival. Opinions are boring, the reasons behind them are what count.Jumpyjohn07-11-2026
- for a medical chief to throw things like is just bad. There are already radios which were banned for spectacle. allow radios. Gps trackers are not a complete solutionabstractengineer07-11-2026
- Yeah man...PogiSloFans07-11-2026
- any rider less than 25 whether they are really ready for the position of leadership of GT is probably not the case. I think Pogi himself suffered when he was defeated by Jonas in the TDF twice. But that would be the team's job to ensure support so that they can bounce back. It requires a team and time to get back up and win after getting knocked down.abstractengineer07-11-2026
- I'm very glad he got the big late Quickstep Vuelta win and I hope he has a few left for Euskaltel-Euskadi.flyer07-11-2026
Loading
1 Comments