"Everything was driven by a constant craving for booze": Former Belgian pro opens up about alcohol addiction

Former Belgian cyclist Leif Hoste has publicly spoken about his long struggle with alcohol addiction. The 48-year-old, who got six professional wins in 15 years as a professional rider, revealed that his addiction reached a point where his survival was repeatedly at risk.

"I didn't know night and day anymore. Everything was driven by a constant craving for booze. At least ten times I was admitted to a hospital emergency room with more than 4.5 promille in my blood. When I was somewhat approachable again, the doctors would say, 'If you carry on like this, it's over and out," Hoste said in an interview to HLN.

Despite these warnings, Hoste admitted he often fled the hospital shortly afterwards. "I didn't want to die at all, but an hour and a half later I put on my pants and shoes, pulled the IV out of my arm and fled from the hospital. On the way home I bought two bottles of pure vodka at Colruyt. It was that powerful."

Hoste, who ended his professional career in 2012, admitted that the period that followed proved deeply destabilising. "Not only professionally, life hasn't been easy in private either. My childhood, the way I grew up: that was not an easy time. But I won't go into that any further. My career also felt like a failure at one point."

Hoste is not an isolated case of a rider struggling with alcohol addiction. It is well known that Marco Pantani, Jan Ullrich or Lance Armstrong also went through the same situation.

A series of personal setbacks further accelerated his descent into hell. "Add to that a divorce and the contact with my daughter that was diluted.... I could no longer process everything in a healthy way. It's strange to say, but the drink gave me peace and control. I found comfort in the bottle. Before you know it, you're rolling in it and you're in it up to the nostrils. And then you can't breathe."

For a long time, denial played a central role. "It started with a glass to help me sleep better. A little later I drank even earlier in the day and poured a Duvel right after work. Still later, I started drinking as soon as I drove home after work. That's how things got worse and worse. But I denied that to myself. 'It's only alcohol. If I want to quit next week, I'll just do it.'"

But quitting is not that easy, even if the willingness is there. "And you keep putting off that stopping, because there's another friend's birthday party, a niece's communion party and you name it. Until at some point I evolved into alcohol abuse that was guaranteed to be fatal - three bottles of vodka a day. 'An ordinary person doesn't survive that,' said a doctor I've known for 30 years."

After multiple hospitalisations, Hoste says he has now been sober for six months. Still, the road ahead is not easy at all. "I am an addicted person. I have to accept it and live by it. In my case, that means not drinking anything anymore. Someone who is suddenly diagnosed with diabetes also has to take that into account. I have to adjust, because I don't want to fight it for the rest of my life. If I fight it, I lose anyway."